Flowing through my happiness
It is not uncommon to find myself stuck in thought, ruminating till even my dreams are being captured by those same thoughts. From my recent adventures and life I have come to believe that I allow this to happen, through a desire for more control, freedom, and some sort of feeling that I think I need, which I don't (another post for another time). "Letting go" is what I hear constantly and without any substance or understanding behind it, it seems like a fairy tale. There is a story that helps me, it is about the Dalai Lama and losing his home, Tibet, he was asked in an interview if he was angry at the people who took his home. I will paraphrase his answer as best I can, "they have taken everything from me, why let them take my mind too." This sits with me so well as I think of things that I have grown unhealthy attachments too and continue to allow them to hurt me, by taking my mental energy and my thoughts away!
I wrote more than I thought I would about this, but it allows you the reader to understand this next part.
Keeping in the trend of connecting with the world around me and my need to use my body, I adventured my child self into the far reaches of the Buffalo Creek trail system. A beautiful and intricate array of small single track trails that go on for miles. I went with a new friend, Bart, with the intention of exercising and also having fun. To have fun I have found that I need to be very present with my surroundings and my mind. When I ride a bike downhill through turns and weaves, ups and downs, and creak beds, I must be one with that bike, feelings its movement and loving its turns and adventures through the endless paths. As I cranked down on the pedals, put the seat low so I could stay on the bike, I could feel every part of my body smiling and communicating with me everything I needed to know. At that moment it was everything I needed to stay on the bike and not face down in the dirt.
Mountain Biking has allowed me to feel a similar since of freedom from my thoughts as did running and climbing does when I still can. Sadly running began to hurt my knees to the point I could no longer run past 6 miles without pain and climbing takes more than one person and sadly most of my climbing partners have left the state or have semi-retired, which means I basically have retired too. But biking needs no one, although it is so much fun with another as I have experienced with some of my friends.
Until I do move,
live and adventure in an another part of this world, I will continue to bike and share my thoughts as I storm down trails at speeds that somehow don't scare me enough to not do it.
ps. Buffalo Creek is amazing, enjoy