I recently began to see two different worlds, an imprisoned one and one where I am aware I am in a prison. A prison I created and made about what I cannot do in my life. This awareness new, and possibly started during, before, or after my time in Colombia. It possibly started last year when I decided it was time to travel outside of this country, or when a boulder the size of two people came hurling towards me and I was able to avoid it and see my life with fresh eyes, or was it when I was in Colombia and I saw how small my world really was. Pinpointing this might not be the point of this story and all these pieces probably play together to help me feel and see my prison, the prison I created and put myself in.
Many people have probably felt this before, it comes with thoughts like: "I have a great job I can't leave, - I have a home here - My community is here - I need to save money - Maybe next year - In the future - I just can't" . These are thoughts I have had and they have stopped me from fulfilling dreams and desires that I have always wanted to achieve. For too long have I stopped myself from even thinking about all the lives I wish to live, the things I want to do, and the differences I want to make. This is the world I want to live in, aware of all the possibilities I can be part of, I CAN learn a new language and I am, I CAN travel and I am, and I can expand myself past missed opportunities and say yes to opportunities, because every new one is an adventure.
My life is really too short to lock myself in a prison of belief, belief that I cannot do something that I have always dreamed of. I have always struggled with learning languages, english feels even difficult at times, but I won't ever learn another if I don't practice and traveling has become a bug I now know I can experience more often. So I will continue to find my keys to unlock myself and explore my life as much as I can, give my desires and dreams a chance.
Guatemala I will see you in the fall with a much more advanced level of Spanish. Photography, you and I will be much closer now as you will be with me for every opportunity to adventure and love this world around me.